Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
