Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
