i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
