Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
