my mouth tastes like poor choices
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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