my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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