Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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