I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
