i wish my penis had a tongue
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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