how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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