If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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