In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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