i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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