I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can't turn off my feet"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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