i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
