my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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