I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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