It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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