Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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