i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
3pm strippers are depressing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
