OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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