when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
