I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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