I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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