How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
