i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
