And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
