Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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