actually, I'm a sock model
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
