I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
