hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
