im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
