pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Are we still banned from the library?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
