Sponge bath it is.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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