so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
