Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
