I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
