Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
