thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
