I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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