But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
