We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
