The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
