I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
