Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
