I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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