got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
