Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
