The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
