woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
